Monday, April 23, 2012

All My Gratitude

I'm just gonna come out and say it - my life recently has been filled with unanswered questions and anxiety about my personal future. Wondering if I am truly becoming who I ought to be and if I am really really sure of the path I'm taking. Feeling discontent with the place in which I've been planted. All these thoughts, and they are all entirely centered around ME.

I'm human, and I pride. I doubt, I scheme, I wander, I grudge...I sin. I sin hard.

But it's true, what my friend told me once. "You may go after somebody else... But I know who you'll come runnin' back to." He said this to me almost 2 years ago. It made me think of God! When I wander away from home, from the good Shepherd, He does come and bring me home like He says in John 10. But in a way, after all the following my heart and tasting sin for a season, the sweet taste in my mouth turns to scum in my belly - and I run back to Him. Always and every time. He feeds me a fills me with good things, fills my cup to running over. Victory after victory reveals glory due to Him and Him alone, and I am allowed to bask in the joy of the Lord. From glory to glory, changed into the same image of the Son of God, I never cease to be just who I was from the start - dirt. Dirt which God breathed the breath of life into. Dirt that will return to its original form when my last breath is taken. Dirt that will be buried and stay underground until the second coming of Christ...and my spirit will already be with Him in Heaven. My life is but a vapor on earth, a moment in time compared to all the time He has been through.

So now it's time for me to talk about HIM :] He is everything and all things good. He blesses the meek and lowly and is far from the proud. He does not bless the discontent or the unmerciful. He sends the rain and the sunshine, He fills the earth with food and is all the comfort that orphans and widows feel in their distress. He is living water for the thirsty, bread of life for the hungry, strength for the weak, power for the faint, mercy for the condemned, salvation for the sinner, love for the hated and the hater, sight for the blind, guide to the lost, Shepherd to the sheep, path for the wanderer, right for the wrong, light for the darkness, ransom for the prey, truth to kill every lie, prince of peace, He is love. I am so unworthy to even bow before Him and thank Him. I'm not fit to be seen by Jesus Christ. Yet I can come boldly before the throne of God and kneel before my Father. My Father. I can say this, "I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus". And I thank Him for it. I'm still amazed!

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