Sunday, August 28, 2011

I breathe ceaseless. The air never stops coming, even when I hold breath so deep inside til I'm about to burst, my heart keeps beating as skin pulls in nourishing oxygen though every cell. Have you ever listened to your own breathing? All those times you placed your hand on your chest during the National Anthem, did you ever once get caught away in the feeling of your own heart beat? Have you ever wondered at the beat of life? What is the rhythm inside of me? What is the rhythm of my soul? From day one, we enter this world naked and bear, nothing to offer, and at the mercy of those who have been there but remember nothing of it. I entered this world in much of the same way that I am day to day if living in the flesh - with clenched fists. An embittered mind, angry and resentful at those who may have taken from me what was warm and familiar, and what felt safe. But I forget, I was born nothing, and was offered air. I was brought forth helpless, and was sustained immediately with what no other human being could provide. I entered this world, experiencing before anything else, the loving vibe of cold, clear oxygen running all around me. God's first gift to newborns. It prompted me to cry and gasp, to instill fight in me for comfort and peace in this new world. To hope for better moments. We breathe "Yahweh". Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself breathe? I was introduced to this chaotic earth in confusion and frustration, born a sinner, though sinless to start. Now as a grown human being, my heart still cries out the same confusion without Him, wondering deep inside how my sins could ever be justified or forgiven. I breathe His name, never missing a beat. My soul cries out, while my chest calmly moves in and out, in and out, just like every other human being, still hungering for Yahweh - the Most High - Jesus Christ - deep inside; and I am still helpless. Clothed, fed and cared for, I still have nothing to offer and am naked and bear on the inside. But the vibe of a first breath is an introduction of things to come, our destined state of being, a clue as to how we are to be born again. Once born of water, then born of the Spirit. Hopeless, senseless, needing what we cannot provide for ourselves, let alone deserve... And yet He breathes life. And He breathes it into us. No matter how lifted up I become, no matter how independent, I will never be able to change the very beat of creation, of which I am a part of. I will never be able to stop my soul from craving the Father's love and the Savior's salvation. To receive affirmation and pardon from my wretchedness. The filling of the Holy Spirit. Without Him, I would be lost. He is my oxygen, the air that I breathe. He keeps my life and my soul from death and the grave... from hell. He is Everlasting. Everlasting breath, everlasting life, everlasting Father, everlasting love, everlasting mercy, everlasting Savior.

"...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10

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